


one lucky clucker

by novaKnight_Rahxbi



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Established Relationship, Gen, M/M, Practical Jokes, prompto is the pranking master
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:41:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22294993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novaKnight_Rahxbi/pseuds/novaKnight_Rahxbi
Summary: Ignis (7:16 am) Do you think what you’re doing is funny?Prompto📷💛 (7:19 am) little bit, yeah 😗------One man's bathroom accoutrements become another man's headache.
Relationships: Prompto Argentum/Ignis Scientia
Comments: 20
Kudos: 98





	one lucky clucker

Wiping the last of the steam clouded onto the mirror, a freshly showered Ignis opened his cabinet and grabbed a small jar of moisturizer to start rubbing it into his skin. As he finished dabbing the last of it onto his cheeks, he looked into the mirror’s reflection at the blond towel-drying his hair behind him. “Prompto, darling.”

“Yeah?”

“May I ask what those are about?” Ignis asked, pointing to the small heathered basked sitting on the wire shelf affixed to the shower’s wall. ‘Those’, of course, referred to the number of rubber yellow chocobos piled into it.

Prompto shook the remaining beads of water from his hair, using the towel to start drying behind his ears. “Oh, those are mine.”

“I assumed as much,” Ignis said. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t we buy those bins to keep our personal toiletries separate from one another?”

“We did but I don’t really have that much stuff to begin with,” Prompto explained. “Anything I do have fits just fine in the medicine cabinet, so I wanted to fill it with something else to keep it from going to waste.”

“So you chose...bath toys.”

“Hey, don’t judge!” Prompto pouted. “Some people have bath bombs, you’ve got your fancy Altissian bubble bath soap. I just so happen to have my collection of the cutest birds known to humankind in bath toy form.”

Ignis nearly did a double take. “How did you know about my--”

“Iggy, come on. I think we’ve lived together long enough for me to figure out that your ‘alone time’ is really just you sinking yourself into a tub full of Ulwaat berry-scented bubbles.”

It was actually Ulwaat berry and vanilla bean, but Ignis decided that he didn’t need to be further validated by the finer details. While they had been living together for quite some time, getting to know more about each other after becoming ‘official’, that was one of the last of Ignis’ secrets that he’d expected Prompto to catch onto. “Just make sure that you don’t leave them lying around after you’re finished with them.”

Prompto rolled his eyes, the fake scowl he’d attempted looking more like a self-assured grin. “I’m a big boy, Iggy. I can pick up after myself just fine.”

Ignis glanced back at the basket nestled between the bottles of body wash and shampoo sitting beside it. He’d certainly hoped so.

* * *

At first, the existence of the rubber chocobos had been completely forgotten. They were glaringly obvious to Ignis at first whenever he entered the bathroom, catching him ever so slightly off-guard every time. After a few days, however, they faded into the obscurity of his peripherals and became nothing more than a decoration amongst the room’s decor and its pale blue walls.

As Ignis finished washing his hands and grabbed a hand towel to dry them, it was then that he encountered the interesting sight laid out before him one early afternoon. What at first had been the blob of yellow in the corner of his eye soon revealed itself as two rows of rubber chocobos on separate sides of a sheet of toilet paper. At the end of it were two more chocobos facing each other, and a third at the apex.

Ignis blinked slowly at the array of chocobos in front of him, each consecutive blink doing little to nothing in helping him process exactly what he was looking at any faster. It would have been one thing if they’d just been left out, cluttered and unorganized. But this? This was far too deliberate.

“Prompto!” Ignis called out down the hallway, leaning out of the doorway.

“What’s up, Iggy?” Prompto responded nearby.

“Could you come here for a moment?

Light footsteps from another room became louder as Prompto walked into the room. “What is it? Something wrong?”

Ignis gestured towards the rim of the almond colored tub. “What on earth is this?”

Prompto frowned in confusion. “The...bathtub?”

“I’m well aware of what a bathtub is. I’m referring to what’s inside the bathtub.”

“Oh. You’ve never seen a wedding before?”

The question, much to Prompto’s evident delight, was answered with a bespectacled blank stare and lips pursed so tightly that they might as well have been vacuum-sealed.

“These two little guys got hitched this morning,” Prompto beamed. He crouched down to prod one of the toys back into place with his finger. “Thought for sure they’d be at the reception by now, though.”

Ignis pinched the bridge of his nose to suppress the rising annoyance building up within him. “I don’t suppose you’d like to relocate this ceremony elsewhere?”

“True love takes time, Ignis,” Prompto scoffed. “I can’t just rush them out of here and ruin their big day. That’s so heartless!”

If ever there was a time that his boyfriend should consider himself lucky for being insidiously cute, it was definitely now. “Have them out by the end of the day.”

“Can I have the sink reserved for their honeymoon?”

“The _end of the day_ , Prompto.”

* * *

At the end of a day filled with back-to-back council meetings and combat training, fatigue weighed on Ignis like a ball-and-chain he dragged with him as he walked through the apartment door. Placing his bags down on the couch, he paused to listen for any indication that Prompto was home, eventually giving up upon not hearing anything.

 _Must be working an evening shift tonight_ , Ignis thought to himself. At least it made for a good opportunity to wash up and make a nice meal for him to come home to. 

Mentally running through a few recipes in his head that he could make with what was available, Ignis ambled into the bathroom down the hall. As he flipped the light switch on and started unbuttoning his shirt, the spectacle that stood before him froze him in his tracks.

More rubber chocobos. Far more than in the little ceremony that had been set up the other day. They had all been carefully arranged to make them appear as if they were coming out from the shower drain and flowing over the tub rim onto the bathroom floor. What was worse was that the rows upon rows of birds took up nearly every square inch of the tiled floor, leaving Ignis staring at what seemed like an endless stretch of yellow blocking his way.

Ignis’ eye twitched. He immediately walked out of the room and pulled his phone out of his pocket, opening the messenger app.

**Ignis (9:37 pm)** we need to talk

Oh, that wouldn’t do. It was much too hasty and it’d be sure to send Prompto into an unnecessary spiral of anxiety. Ignis quickly typed a follow-up text and hit ‘send’.

**Ignis (9:38 pm)** It’s nothing serious, i promise

A few moments later, his phone chimed in response.

**Prompto📷💛 (9:41 pm)** did i do something wrong? 😥

 **Ignis (9:42 pm)** We need to talk about the chocobos

 **Prompto📷💛 (9:45 pm)** oh! i’m on break rn but i’ve always got time to talk about them :3

 **Ignis (9:47 pm)** i’m referring to the ones in the bathroom, love.

 **Prompto📷💛(9:48 pm)** the ones in the bathroom?

 **Ignis (9:49 pm)** YES, the ones in the bathroom

 **Prompto📷💛(9:51 pm)** ohhhh those ones 😅

Ignis blew out a puff of exasperated air from his nostrils.

**Ignis (9:52pm)** I know you’re one for your practical jokes but could you please stop?

 **Ignis (9:53pm)** I won’t be able to shower for at least another half hour until i move all of them out of the way and that’s 30 minutes longer than I’d like to wait

 **Prompto📷💛(9:55 pm)** whoops! sorry about that! 😬

 **Prompto📷💛(9:55 pm)** no more tiny rubber chocobos. i promise. 🤞🏻

 **Ignis (9:57 pm)** that’s all i ask. thank you. 

**Prompto📷💛(9:58 pm)** 😘

* * *

The following night had Ignis working later than usual, but thankfully Prompto had held up his promise and removed the miniature chocobo infantry from the floor. The shower was all clear when he’d gotten home, and everything was back to what it had been and how Ignis preferred it: spick and span, and not a toiletry out of place.

The rhythmic beeping from his phone’s alarm stirred Ignis from his slumber, the sun’s rays peeking from the window pushing him further to reach over and shut it off. Noticing a distinct lightness in the bed’s weight, he reasoned that Prompto must have left for his morning run quite some time ago. Ignis sighed tiredly to himself. It wasn’t like they never saw one another, but it was somewhat annoying that they kept just missing each other as of late. Perhaps things would soon improve in that regard with the coming weekend.

Needing to attend to some early morning business, Ignis sat up and cast the bedsheets aside, walking down the hallway and into the bathroom. Closing the door behind him, he shuffled over to the toilet seat and lifted it up, immediately jumping backwards against the wall at what had unexpectedly greeted him.

Staring back at him was a large rubber chocobo, about the size of a playground ball, perfectly (far too perfectly) positioned in the center of the toilet bowl.

Ignis stared blankly back at the accursed fake bird for a few moments before heatedly walking back out the door and swiping his phone off of his nightstand.

**Ignis (7:16 am)** Do you think what you’re doing is funny?

Ignis’ tired eyes squinted at the screen, staring at it for a few minutes before seeing a message pop up.

**Prompto📷💛 (7:19 am)** little bit, yeah 😗

 **Ignis (7:20 am)** You said no more chocobos, did you not?

 **Prompto📷💛 (7:22 am)** no more /tiny/ ones. never said anything about going up a size

Ignis groaned. He could practically _hear_ the wink in that text.

**Ignis (7:25 am)** I want all the chocobos gone by this saturday.

 **Ignis (7:25 am)** ALL of them

 **Prompto📷💛 (7:27 am)** D’:

 **Prompto📷💛 (7:27 am)** can i just keep one of them?? pleeeaaaassseee???

**Ignis (7:30 am)** You can keep one.

 **Ignis (7:31 am)** ONE

 **Prompto📷💛 (7:33 am)** yes! you’re the best ;3

And Prompto, Ignis thought as he forcibly pressed the phone’s lock button, is very _very_ lucky.

* * *

“You’ve gotta admit,” Prompto started, flicking a few more kernels of popcorn into his mouth. “It was pretty impressive.”

“Your dedication to your craft is, perhaps. I’m failing to see anything impressive beyond that.”

“Careful, Igs. This popcorn’s got enough salt on it already.”

Saturday night had rolled around, and as promised, every last trace of the rubber chocobos had vanished. Ignis had breathed a sigh of relief that morning upon seeing the blessed absence of those yellow menaces. Much to his satisfaction, he was currently curled up on the sofa watching a movie with his preferred type of yellow menace.

Ignis reached over into the bowl and grabbed his own handful of popcorn. “I am quite curious as to how you obtained all of those chocobos.”

“They sell them wholesale, believe it or not. I bought like, three boxes of them online for 1000 gil.”

Ignis sighed, leaning back into the sofa’s side as he ran the palm of his hand over his eyes. “Why am I not surprised?”

Prompto nestled himself into Ignis’ chest, grinning cheekily. “Probably because I’m just full of surprises.”

“You’re full of something, that’s for certain,” Ignis chuckled, leaning over to press a kiss onto Prompto’s forehead. A few more kisses peppered here and there was all it took to coax the two of them into exchanging deeper kisses with one another, the movie’s chatter and sounds gradually fading into the background.

“Hey,” Prompto muttered, planting a kiss into the crook of Ignis’ neck. “Want me to go get…?”

“I can get them, darling” Ignis breathed. Shifting himself from underneath Prompto and off of the couch, he regained enough of his composure to traverse down the hallway and into the bathroom. 

As he hastily pushed open the door, he felt himself stumble into something that he couldn’t quite make out in the darkness. Still partially face-first into the mysterious blockade, Ignis reached over and flipped the light switch on, pulling himself away from the obstacle to get a better look.

Standing before him, to his complete and utter disbelief, was a massive inflatable chocobo that towered at least three feet over him. It was partially compacted due to the bathroom’s narrower layout, but still managed to command the room with its obnoxious presence that took up the entire space.

Internally alternating between bewilderment, frustration, and being completely done with this predicament, Ignis quietly turned around and walked out of the room back towards the living room area. Traipsing over to the couch with a chilly calmness, Ignis paid no mind to Prompto’s impish smirk following him as he sat back down, clasping his hands together and pressing them to his face in resignation.

“You’re insane.”

“‘Insane’ is such a strong word. I’d prefer to think of myself as a little ‘crazy’. For you, at least.” As Prompto moved in to give Ignis a self-congratulatory kiss, he was interrupted by a chalky, plastic sensation around his lips that made him blink in surprise.

A high-pitched ‘squeak’ was let out as Ignis squeezed the rubber chocobo that he’d partly inserted into Prompto’s mouth, a small victorious smile of his own forming on his face. “What a lovely coincidence. I might be just as _kweh_ -zy for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> if you haven't already figured it out, yes, this is very much based off of james veitch's "terrible roommate" video. the amount of chaotic energy it gave off screamed prompto and i just couldn't pass up the opportunity.
> 
> thank you for reading!


End file.
